One good thing about journaling is that I can go back and see how far I have come. The bad thing is realizing I’m still wrestling with the same fear, just different circumstances. What if I fail? What if I succeed? Where am I going? Why haven’t I gotten there yet? What if everyone realizes I’m a big fraud? Am I a big fraud?
Don’t worry, my senses come back just about the time I need a tranquilizer. I take a deep breath and God reminds me how much I have succeeded even amongst my fear. It’s probably why the 23rd Psalms is one of my favorite passages. *Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.*
I don’t know if David was without fear, or if he just didn’t let fear stop him from getting things done. I am the latter. I am terrified with every new decision, but I still find myself taking that step of faith in whatever I do.
There have been bad times. But, I don’t regret them anymore, because I didn’t stay there. They didn’t keep me down. I must remember this when I face a new challenge and wonder what on earth I’ve gotten myself into.